Have you ever believed, worked, fight, invest, put in extra effort for something, someone, some reasons, some issues, and some cause, and it just didn’t give you a positive return, gain, joy, dividends, peace that you desire?
Have you ever been cheated, trampled upon, deceived, scolded, neglected, forsaken, played, and thrown off balance, over what you give your all to?
Have you ever been disappointed, stabbed at the back and ridiculed, given a negative and shocking surprise?
Have you ever received disheartening and heartbreaking returns over your display of affection, attention, care, love, honesty, uprightness, commitment, donation and investments?
Have you ever gone through a state of imbalance, mode of retention, scolding your generosity, scolding your nature, scolding your attitude and character and saying to yourself? Why was I stupid, why am I naive? I am so senseless! I am a big fool! I am a world class idiot, why am I naturally nice? What do I gain from doing well? Why do I have a soft heart? What has been my reward for being Mr /Miss Do good? Why do I love like a fool, why am I so vulnerable, and more degrading rhetorical questions?
Looking yourself straight in the mirror and say; henceforth I won’t be nice to anyone, I won’t fall in love again, too hell with people, I don’t care anymore, I will mind my business, I won’t associate myself with people again, I won’t be free minded again, I won’t be a problem solver again, I would keep to myself, nobody deserves any good treatment from me, I am now officially harsh, wicked, unforgiving, stonehearted and it’s what people deserve. Indeed you were hurt!
You gave all your heart, soul, mind, spirit, loyalty, time, care, attention, commitment, money, value, material things, hopes, fears, dreams, affection, and most importantly your love to him/her. Yet you received deceit, lies, disappointments, unfaithfulness, cheats, selfishness, unappreciation, and rejection in exchange, indeed you were hurt!
You were the pillar of that friend; you stood by him/her. Your shoulders was ever ready to cry on, your door was ever open to entertain those unsteady race of steps, solace of peace was your nature, your words were pillars of encouragement, your support was physical, material, social, spiritual, and intellectual, approachable and confidant was your name, bestie, paddy, buddy, pal, counsellor, secret sharer, gossip mate, were all your status yet you became an enemy, a devil, intruder, threat, discarded item, good for nothing, and useless piece of possession, all as a payback for the beautiful traits, display of love, time, concern, and hand of friendship that you extended, indeed you were hurt!
The coast is clear, life is beautiful. I am lucky, blessed and fulfilled. Life is a bed of roses. My future is certain, basking in the euphoria of love, care, attention, affection, comfort, luxury, and peace of mind. The world is at my feet. I am protected, insured, secured, guided, and counselled by him/her. No access denied, no birth right was sold, duties and obligations, were being performed and enjoyed by me. Then it all shattered before my existence!
Rejection sets in and love was snatched! Complain replaced gratification! I became a burden! an option! I was replaced with frivolities of life! My chances became limited and my right was trampled upon! You can go to hell! Don’t kill me! Don’t finish my money! I can’t help any further! Seek for assistance elsewhere! Get out of my hood and get a life! Live or die! I can’t waste my resources again! I have done my best and I have new responsibilities! Some didn’t own half of your privilege! I was turned down at the verge of my success and at the peak of my greatness; the road becomes rough and messy. I became scared! Caught unawares, lack creeps in, the chances of survival are slim, no resources to fall back on, bills became unpaid, and insecurity sets in. Struggling becomes my daily routine, courage, dedication and hard work became my watch word, I became exposed and vulnerable, my intellectuals broadened and the race of life became more intense. Yet bitterness, payback, ruled my mind. I want to dish it all out to the one that failed me! Old age revenge! Neglect revenge! Tormenting my soul daily as I want to give it all to that one person that disowned me. Indeed I am hurt!
You deserve that promotion. Hardworking, dedication, truthful, contentment was your attitude towards that job, yet you were cheated and punished, because you didn’t conform to negative ideas that ruin values. Your beautiful qualities still didn’t get you anywhere because of a mischievous boss whose life is ruled by getting pleasure from the pain of the just. Indeed you were hurt.
Hurts are unbearable, painful, devastating, shocking and soul breaking. Hurts if not properly handled and managed can result into hatred, violence, bitterness heartlessness. Hurts is inevitable, it is an instructor ordained and created by nature to reshape, re-arrange restore, repackage and keep in order the life of an individual. It is an avenue that teaches the basic values of alertness, consciousness and wiseness to its victim. Everything in life can be managed it all depends on personality of an individual. Manage your hurts, when displayed it makes you appear vulnerable and accessible to other hurts mechanisms. It makes you turn away from every silver lining that you see because you are hunted by uncertainty and fear which are the subordinates of hurt itself. When hurts rules your world, you become miserable, hostile, and a nagging individual that carries the air of unhealthy attitudes. Thereby shutting the door of acceptance, love, friendship compensation, and association that you need to survive the wounds of hurts. Hurt is a twin brother to failure. When you fail to succeed, you try again. When you experience hurt, you must strive to become a lover again, a friend again, become that respectful child again, become that loyal employee again, and become that trustworthy associate again. Don’t be like the proverbial naughty goat, but like our creator that forgives and forget whenever we hurt him with our sins. Indeed you are hurt. Indeed I was hurt! I am loving again. You must love again. Get over that hurts. It not worth sapping your happiness!
The above essay was written and submitted by Adeyemi Serah